EPISODE 3

“The Birth of Our Woes”

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

DOV:

And welcome back to Kandel Against the Dark.

Now, before the break, we discovered the motive behind Jack's desire to murder his boss. This...this is certainly a troubling plan on Jack's part. It is obviously not something that...that I would condone in any way. But Orson, as you said, your team -- and by extension myself and the listeners...we're probably best to set aside our judgments and just focus on Jack's experience as he tells it, because ultimately, what we're looking to, to do here is to just understand the facts of the case, or at least the facts as, as Jack sees them.

ORSON:

Exactly. That's exactly right. And I think as we move through the following few clips, we're going to get an even better sense of just how Jack got to such an extreme position. So uh...well, let's go ahead and hear what uh...hear what Jack has to say about what he just revealed.

DOV:

Okay, great.

[TAPE CLICK]

JACK:

I think I need to tell you a little more about ‘Scilla. Now that I've revealed the mistake she made, you're probably viewing her in a negative light. And I just think that some context is warranted, because her infidelity with Gar isn't representative -- at all -- of the kind of person she was. Or the wife she was to me.

’Scilla was an incredibly capable person. Exceedingly so. She was driven and decisive. You know, once she'd set her sights on something, she went after it with total commitment. And that was no less true of our marriage. Despite how things turned out for us. And I still believe -- I know -- she loved me with her whole heart. What happened happened because sometimes things knock into us. Things completely out of our control knock into us and send us careening off of our natural trajectory. They shove us into something we'd never imagined ourselves capable of. And that's what happened to her. It's just that she didn't have the chance to course correct before the end came. But just like I know she loved me, I know that she would have found her way back to me eventually, given the opportunity. Because at her core, she was loving and kind and fair.

And at this point, I think it's pretty clear to me that the denial of that opportunity, the chance to move past what happened, wasn't just an accident of time. That opportunity was something actively withheld. By design. Because whatever is driving this nightmare, whatever set this collapse of humanity in motion, clearly deemed that opportunity to be in direct conflict to its aims. No, more than that, actually. Denying her that opportunity was singularly necessary to its aims. Because another thing I know -- and I don't know how I know this, but I do -- is that what happened to ‘Scilla, what happened to us, wasn't just collateral damage. It was part and parcel of all of this.

And I feel ridiculous for thinking that, for knowing that. Because it seems so desperate and narcissistic and insane. But nevertheless, that's the truth of it, and I know that truth and my core.

I know that ‘Scilla’s infidelity wasn't really a choice. It was an act born of unseen, powerful forces. On the psychological level, that force was her subconscious. Her affair with Gar wasn't some childish rebellion or a careless disregard for me or our love. It was a desperate, groping attempt at regaining a sense of agency and value and hope that she had tragically lost. It was in every way an act of survival for her. As ironic as that seems now.

We had eight years of happiness together. It was a marriage that pushed us both forward. ‘Scilla had a taste for the finer things in life -- a trait I didn't share with her but was more than happy to indulge. And I set my sights on advancement at Octavius for exactly that reason. And don't get me wrong, like I said, ‘Scilla was more than capable in her own right, and she did very well for herself. She didn't need me. And she knew that. No, ’Scilla was with me because she wanted to be. And I wanted -- desired -- to be a partner who could provide anything and everything for her.  Even things beyond what she desired herself. And I think I did that.

But then her focus shifted. Her priorities changed. Her mind turned, as many women's do, to seeking the kind of fulfillment motherhood can offer. And there was no hesitation on my part. I was more than happy to embark on that journey with her. You know, despite my notable gaps in “normal humanhood”, I just somehow trusted that I'd rise to the challenge with ‘Scilla as my beacon.

But that's where things started to fray.

After months of trying and failing to conceive, I could see her sinking. You know, she did her solid best to stay upbeat, to keep dreaming of the child we'd one day love and nurture together. But the longer we tried, the harder that got for her. And I think our sense of self was rattled. You know, the go-getter in her, the overachiever, just didn't know what to do with what she perceived as a failure on her part. You know, and it didn't even matter that whatever the problem was, it was out of her control. And mine. All that mattered was that, for her, this was the most important thing she'd ever undertaken, and it wasn't working.

It wasn't long before she started to recede from me completely. I knew that she had come to suspect that I might actually be the problem, and she was drifting toward resentment. And for the first time in our marriage, there was a palpable and lasting tension. But as unfair as it was, I understood it. Because I knew that deep down it was the equally unfair sense of failure she was thrashing herself with that was really driving her anger.

Our brains have a way of protecting us, our sense of self, when we're threatened. Projection is a powerful tool. A blunt but powerful tool. And people seem to use it most when they can't find their way through their own self-blame. Ya know, sometimes externalizing it is the only hope of any relief. But whatever slight relief she found in it, it was cold comfort in the end. Her depression got worse and she started missing days of work.

It finally became clear we needed to consult a physician. And that alone was a long and frustrating process for her. But we eventually found ourselves in the office of a fertility doctor. And for a moment, there was a sense that we would finally get some answers. But what started as a new source of hope very quickly just turned into another crushing blow.

As it turns out, there was a problem with my sperm. Even though a test had shown that my count was actually quite high and they all seemed perfectly healthy, they showed “low motility”. The doctor said it was the lowest he had ever seen. He described them as “listless”. Ya know, like they were just waiting for someone to tell them what they were supposed to just naturally do. And he couldn't offer an explanation. But to me, this kind of made sense. You know, it seemed like a nice, neat little microcosmic expression of my desire-barren existence.

And in the few seconds between that news and what followed, I struggled. You know, a part of me was so relieved to have something concrete to blame for ‘Scilla’s failed conception. Something outside of her. Something that would allow her to let go of her self-loathing. And my first impulse was to embrace that, to encourage her to just blame me. But I also knew that meant that the resentment she had been feeling and fighting against -- that anger toward me -- was just going to continue to grow. And I knew that that would almost certainly mean further rejection from her. And I was worried I was going to lose her forever. In those few short seconds, I was torn between my desire to make ‘Scilla happy at any cost and my need to protect her love for me. Ya know, suddenly, in a life that had been driven by a singular desire, I found myself experiencing not just two desires at the same time, but conflicting ones. Ironically, one had grown from the other. “Make ‘Scilla my wife” had become “keep ’Scilla happy”.  But now those two goals were completely at odds with each other.

Mercifully -- and tragically -- what came next rendered that whole problem moot. Because the ultrasound had revealed something far more discouraging. The black and white images the doctor showed us left no room for doubt. It was explained to us that ‘Scilla had a thick, fibrous membrane growing inside her uterus. It was a web like structure -- clearly defined -- filling the space in her womb a fetus would need to grow and come to term. And because he couldn't fathom what else it could possibly be, he told us that it was most likely a severe -- and for ’Scilla -- a dream-ending case of uterine fibroids. We were told any surgical remedies would, without question, result in infertility anyway. So in this case, the cure was just as harmful as the disease.

When I look at this now, it's easy to see all of this is some kind of sign, a harbinger of things to come. You know, not that I've ever believed in things like that. And even if I did, there was just no way we could have anticipated the way those behind this would take advantage of her condition -- and her desire.

Because as it turns out, we weren't infertile after all, Priscilla and I. Our time just hadn't come around. The stars weren't right, as they say. And I'm just glad that she was gone before she had to find this out. To find out what other forces had planned for her and her body. Or how those forces would twist her dreams of being a mother to their own ends. Forces whose own dreams were far less beautiful than hers.

[TAPE CLICK]

DOV:

This is  a really...this is, this is an incredibly tragic story.

ORSON:

It...it is indeed.

DOV:

I am quite struck by...by his desire to forgive her.

ORSON:

Yes. It's funny, uh, Jack isn't nearly as interested in defending his decision to commit this crime as he is in, sort of, running interference for his wife.

DOV:

Exactly.  Not just with anyone listening, but seemingly within his own mind as well.

ORSON:

I think this really highlights the depth of Jack's devotion to her, and certainly the strength of his desire to protect her no matter what. But something we haven't seen in him is, uh, is him giving that same grace to Gar.  There is some serious vitriol there.

DOV:

The intrusion  into the relationship aside, Gar seems to be someone that Jack does not enjoy.

ORSON:

It's interesting, because if Jack is the Mater Node’s worst nightmare, someone that it can't connect to —

DOV:

Get its clutches on.

ORSON:

Gar is the, the platonic ideal. He, he is desire. That in the way —

DOV:

Pure raging desire.

ORSON:

In the way that…that...what did he...described him as a black hole. So it's almost like they're polar opposites. So, of course, outside of the hatred and the reason for hating him...the sort of repulsion at him...because he represents everything -- in a very real sense -- that Jack is not.

DOV:

And that, that infidelity with someone who is just the polar opposite of Jack, and, and the ability to forgive that, demonstrates a profound love.

ORSON:

If Jack can be stung...

DOV:

Yes.

ORSON:

That would sting. Yes, because, because...Who did ‘Scilla go to? It was Jack's shadow. It was, it was Jack's —

DOV:

Inverse.

ORSON:

opposite -- inverse. It's almost a Greek tragedy.

DOV:

Yes. And speaking of tragedy, for those in the audience who aren't familiar, can you tell us a little about uterine fibroids? This condition...

ORSON:

Yes, certainly. So if,  if you know the term endometriosis, which is, which is a not exceedingly rare condition...this is where the tissue that generally lines the uterus begins to grow outside of it. And it can have complications for pregnancy. Well, uterine fibroids are sort of an exaggerated form of this, but it grow...grows inside, and it kind of fills up the uterus, basically —

DOV:

Taking up the space. Exactly.

ORSON:

taking up the vacancy. Exactly. It's not...it's not a tumor, per se, in the normal sense. But you can kind of think of that as like a benign tumor. It's not.. it's not —

DOV:

“Benign” certainly being a relative...thought.

ORSON:

Absolutely.  Absolutely. In a purely medic...purely medical in this instance.

DOV:

When he thought it was purely an issue of the motility of his sperm, he was offered the ability to take on the blame from her. This was something that she wanted. And rather than her feeling like it's her fault, he could take that on. Now, at the same time -- as he alludes to -- that means he could lose her for someone else who can offer this thing that he can't.

ORSON:

Yes. Regardless of how true that is, that, that feeling is there.

DOV:

Exactly. And to lose even that small benefit as he does of, of being able to take on the pain and the disappointment of this...this sort of...double-bladed sword that he's been dealt, it... I just...I can only imagine how frustrating it is to...to attempt to protect her from this reality, and then...how can one even begin to process this?

ORSON:

There's just  a sense of misfortune. As they say, “There's nothing for it.” And we don't operate well if we can't establish a, a narrative. We have to look for the agency.

DOV:

There must be meaning of some kind.

ORSON

Yes. Yes. And we have to won...we have to wonder if...if...if, you know, the seeds of Jack wondering about other forces in the universe was, was born in this moment. I would like to stress that the doctor has not seen anything -- according to Jack, of course -- the doctor has not seen anything this severe before.  So I want to look at that for a moment, okay?

We have Priscilla, who has this exceptional case of uterine fibroids. We have Gar, who is exceptionally ravenous in all aspects of his desire.

DOV:

Again, very counter to Jack's lack of...

ORSON:

Yes, but, but that polarity. We have Jack, whose, whose desire is absolutely baseline. You know, just...I think I said before, kind of like the brain stem is the only thing that’s really operating in the sense of, of desires and wants.

DOV:

With the exception of his, of his love and passion for, for Priscilla.

ORSON:

Yes. Which, which is...ya know, this unique, overpowering thing. And their relationship is somewhat exceptional as well. And then on top of that, you have this exceptionally low motility. “Listless”, as the doctor says. One of these alone in life, if you met somebody like this, would be, would be incredible -- almost unbelievable. You have four instances of this among three people, one being...of those being extension of...a physical representation of the lack of desire in Jack, right? With, with the low motility of, of his sperm.

DOV:

How can someone who works as an accountant in a marketing company, one of...this is such a simple life. How can one be so inexplicably exceptional?

ORSON

It's a banal sort of exceptionalism. It is so ordinary and lukewarm. He's not...you know, he's not an exceptional athlete. He's, he's clearly intelligent. But in a certain sense -- and he does actually speak of this -- his lack of desire allowed him to focus more than most people, because he didn't have these constant naggings. So he was able to get through school very easily, land the first job that he went for, knew exactly what he wanted to do...There are some benefits that came from it. But again, it's, it's uh...those benefits are a secondary outgrowth of the fundamental evenness of his keel.

DOV:

These are...while these  are benefits, they ultimately serve to keep his head down, keep him from exceptionalism, you would assume, until these events conspired against him.

ORSON:

Absolutely. And now he is about to enter a period where rather than keeping his head down, he's trying to keep his head above water. And that's what we're going to get into in the in the next section. Shall we give it a listen?

DOV:

Let's go.

ORSON:

All right. Well, let's, let's dive in.

[TAPE CLICK]

JACK:

Things got predictably worse for ‘Scilla after the diagnosis. The depression she had been pushing against began to overtake her completely. She was grieving. Grieving the loss of a child that never existed. For the first time, she was being confronted with the death of possibility. Ya know, paths of life that had been unceremoniously washed away in a flood of circumstance.

And as for me, I struggled to be what she needed me to be in those times. You know, in fairness to myself, I'm not sure anything could have actually eased her suffering. But I think on some level she sensed I just wasn't as broken as she was. And that made things hard. I understood the reason for her pain, but I didn't share it. Not really. Because I couldn't. And there's just no faking -- not convincingly -- that kind of crushing weight. I think at the heart of it, she just needed an ally in her new hell. Ya know, not that she wanted me to suffer, but I think she needed me to be able to really understand her pain. And the only way I could have ever possibly done that would be to feel it myself. And I just couldn't.

I guess, in a way, I was also feeling my own sense of loss. But it wasn't the same. Maybe mine was more like fear. Because I was very aware that for the first time I wasn't able to provide ‘Scilla with what she desired -- with what she needed. And if I'm honest, I think I just hoped that, with time,  things would eventually go back to normal. That ’Scilla would regain her footing and slowly return to the person she was before. But I think what I failed to realize is that the loss of her dream for a child was really a loss of a profound part of her identity -- an identity she had comfortably slipped into the second we started trying.  That shift changed her. It changed her in ways I couldn't have imagined. And then her grief was doing it again.

Denial came first. She tried to beat back her hopelessness with a whole slew of new physicians. She sought second and third and eighth opinions. But they all said the same thing. No matter how much she wanted it, the science and technology just weren't there. Not for her. Anger came next. And that led to her turning her back on the entirety of modern medicine. You know, I think that she felt contempt for their lack of imagination. You know, if she could so clearly visualize herself as a loving mother, how could they not also see that ability somewhere inside of her? How could they not believe in her capacity to overcome any and all obstacles? How dare they just give up? And most importantly for her, how dare they try to rob her of her hope?

And that quickly propelled her into what I think you could call the bargaining stage. It took the form of a deep-dive into alternative medicine, holistic approaches, homeopathy, that sort of thing. And I have my doubts from the get go. But I dutifully took whatever supplement of the week she doled out to me before meals, after meals, during meals. I was woken from a dead sleep three times a night for weeks to take some new concoction she'd stumbled on in her studies. But thankfully she was kind enough to put an end to all that when I had an allergic reaction to some weird, non-FDA-approved tea she served me before bed once.

And from there it was a short trip to religion. It started with prayer, which led to faith healers, which led to cosmosophical charts and various other pseudo sciences before finally reaching its predictable zenith with mysticism and magic. It started softly enough, with charms and candles. Then it was talismans and crystals. And that soon became hours of meditation -- and not the more beneficial tension-relieving kind. She had become convinced that she could somehow actualize an entirely new reproductive system through focused thought alone.

By this time, I was completely by the wayside for her, I think. We were still married and cohabitating, but not even my intense desire to please her could match the demands of the biological sorcery she was trying to perform. And she was at this kind of thing most hours of the day. And she had long since taken a leave of absence from work.

So, half for financial reasons and half because I just needed a break, I started moonlighting, taking on freelance work, helping clients prepare for audits. And that filled my evenings with visits to other comparatively happier homes. Fortunately, but sadly, that didn't cause too much friction between us, because as her sitting meditation became more ritualized -- and as those rituals became more complex -- she began looking for a more experienced guide to keep her company. And soon enough, one found her.

As the old saying should go, ‘When the student is ready, the charlatan will appear.”

Her own private Rasputin claimed to be one of the fabled sigilmancers of olde. You know, he had a wealth of obscure, ridiculous looking symbols inked into his skin. A hokey but apparently effective display of his profound connection to these awesome powers he claimed to wield. This man worked with a deep intensity to worm his way into our lives. As he told it, he was interested in “healing” both of us. Because, of course, ‘Scilla wasn't the only one with fertility challenges in this equation. And he was very keen to remind us both of my issues with motility at every possible opportunity. Nevertheless, he was also quick to encourage my absence as often as possible. He insisted that my presence in the home during the rituals might be a distraction to my wife's progress. And that's exactly how he put it: “Might be a distraction.” Very carefully worded with the utmost delicacy and politeness, so as to not seem accusatory. Despite the obvious accusation.

And this diplomacy was entirely for ‘Scilla’s benefit, I think. He quickly realized who made the decisions in our household.

[TAPE CLICK]

DOV:

God, the struggle. The struggle for him. And it's incredibly fascinating to me that in his reality, universe, timeline, whatever you want to call it, that there exists another Rasputin. That just feels like a figure that's too large to exist in in multiple universes simultaneously.

ORSON:

Yes. Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. And we may we may find that, going further, there are other instances of this sort of thing around people. Uh terms, certainly. Uh, when he's talking about the tea, he mentions that the tea is not FDA approved.

DOV:

FDA.

ORSON:

FDA not FMA.

DOV:

Like our Food...Food and Medicine administration.

ORSON:

Exactly. Exactly where we... we assume --

DOV

Would that be “drug”?

ORSON:

May...that's what we assume --

DOV:

He doesn't specify.

ORSON:

He doesn't specify. He doesn't specify.

DOV:

Fascinating. Okay.

ORSON:

But, but it's, but it's just subtle --

DOV:

Yeah.

ORSON:

differences. Some...some large, some small, and then some things that are key. It's very interesting. It gives us different ideas of how a thing like a...like a multiverse might work. But, but moving on, this sigilmancer has kind of ingratiated himself into their household.

DOV:

Clearly. He runs into this so...it's this, it's the friend from work.

ORSON:

Yes

DOV:

What was his name again?

ORSON:

Rein... Reinhardt Fuchs.

DOV:

Reinhardt. Yes. Yes.

ORSON:

He's...it's, It's no wonder that he wonders about these outside forces because so many things seem to be intruding upon his life.

DOV:

You can't help but wonder... he’s spent so much of his life keeping his head down, and as you referred to earlier, now keeping it,  you know, above water. But it feels like by choosing to begin to care -- or perhaps not choosing -- perhaps this was just the care was inflicted upon him but --

ORSON:

Yes, yes.

DOV:

above water seems to be where the danger is.

ORSON:

Yes.

DOV:

By caring, he puts himself repeatedly into harm's way, and --

ORSON:

Isn't that the thing about desire? The thing that we desire is, you know, can often be hard to attain...it can often be harder to, to maintain, to hold on to. And he's learning...he's learning that. And having not had any experience in that, he's like a newborn baby. He's...he doesn't know how to handle the implications of having a desire and the dynamics at play in that. As intelligent as he is and as thoughtful as he is, that doesn't necessarily mean that he's got the tools set to deal with that.

So let's move on a little bit. He talks a little bit. Um, he talks a little bit before the next section that we go into, of, uh, having to be away from the house more, both...both at work...he also mentioned before that that he had had some, some freelance clients and things. So he's not able to be there all the time. And he also --

DOV:

And, and it sounds like -- Sorry 

to interrupt -- it sounds like when he is there, he's being run out by the --

ORSON:

Yes. Yes. But he, he's so afraid of losing ‘Scilla and driving her father away that he can't address his concerns directly. He has to be diplomatic about it. He's got to kind...of kind of ride it, and at the same time look out...it's a very difficult time for him. So we're going to go into this next section. But he is starting to feel that this sigilmancer is attracted to his wife. And if it's a con job, there is a certain sexual aspect to what the con is after. And now --

DOV:

The Rasputin comparison becoming more apropos.

ORSON:

Absolutely. All right. So let's jump in and listen, uh, listen to what happens as things develop.

DOV:

Let's go.

[TAPE CLICK]

JACK:

But when I was there, I was always watching, keeping an eye out for any sign, especially from him. Everything was just as subtle as his carefully chosen words. But if you were paying attention, it was there. A look lingering too long on Priscilla. An awkwardness from her when we were all in the same room. And any semblance of physical closeness between ‘Scilla and me had evaporated. Strange, given that the whole point of this intrusion into our lives was supposedly aimed at increasing our mutual fertility. So it was becoming clear to me that this spouter of mystical bullshit was a lot more interested in exploring the contours of my wife's body than healing it. And ‘Scilla kept insisting that this was the only way that she could be fixed.

That was the word she used, “fixed”. As though she was fundamentally defective because she couldn't bear a child.

Anyway, despite how certain I was of this man's perverse intent, it took me coming home early from work to see with my own eyes what I already knew in my heart. I should have forced the issue earlier. I should have made up an excuse to come home unexpectedly much sooner than I did. I should have tried to catch him in the act long before he had managed to fully sink his teeth into my wife's psyche. And I don't know why I didn't. Maybe my desire, my love for ‘Scilla and my need to never lose her just made me afraid. Afraid to admit that our world was on shaky ground. That it could crumble at any second. And afraid that confronting it would just hasten that end. Whatever the reason, despite my screaming suspicions about our resident mystic, my desire to believe my wife was faithful outweighed my desire to prove -- or disprove -- that belief with fact. So instead, I did nothing.

But desire or not, a technical issue at work sent me home early one afternoon. Octavius was switching over to a new communications system, and some glitch had the CS department scrambling. All of our phones, including our portas, were out of commission. So out of necessity, they had to shut down the whole system, and that meant there wasn't much anyone could do for the rest of the workday. And that also meant that I couldn't call ‘Scilla on my way home. And the irony is thick here, because it took a communication breakdown for me to finally get some clarity -- a kind of clarity that only comes when you witness something with your own eyes.

You know, even now, I don't consider what Priscilla did to be cheating. Not in this case anyway, and certainly not with this guy. But when I opened the door and I saw them -- not even in the bedroom, but in the middle of the family room...look, I am not a violent guy by any stretch. I'm not saying I'm a Shepherdist saint or anything, but I'm not prone to outbursts of passion or rage. But when I saw Priscilla laying on the floor with that conniving bastard standing over her, painting her nude body with who the fuck knows what...well, let's just say that the so-called sigilmancer found himself bleeding in the street with a few good bruises to match his disturbing tattoos.

I suppose it's really kind of pointless for me to worry about the judgments of people I'll never meet, ya know, assuming that anyone ever listens to these recordings, but for the sake of clarity about everything that happened after this, it's important that you know I was never violent toward Priscilla. Not ever. Not before, not then, and not after. Not even after Gar. Hell, I can't even remember so much as raising my voice to her. You know, we had our share of disagreements on things, but a full blown argument...No, I never needed my way on anything enough for that to happen. My commitment was to ‘Scilla. Completely. And what I saw in that moment, right after literally throwing that letch out of our lives, was not a woman who had betrayed my trust. What I saw was my desperately confused, emotionally fragile wife -- my love --sobbing, lying naked in the fetal position on the floor of our family room.

I threw something around her, a throw blanket from the couch, I think. But it wasn't to cover her body out of some sense of modesty. I think what I was really trying to do was smother the toxic shame I could see creeping into her eyes. And there she was, just sitting on the floor trembling. Her body still covered in those strange, smeared-on symbols. But now they and she were wrapped in the warmth of that blanket that was, in turn, wrapped my arms. We didn't say anything, either of us, for what seemed like an eternity. I just held her while she cried. Eventually her sobbing eased and I could feel her breath coming back to her. And that's when I spoke. I only said a single word. I just said “enough”. I said it as softly and tenderly as I could, but it was not a suggestion.

[TAPE CLICK]

DOV:

That is...

ORSON:

This feels like Jack taking back some control.

DOV:

It does.

ORSON:

This is someone who had always been in control until the reality of having a desire came to his life with Priscilla. And because it was so singular, there was a controlled aspect to that. Even though he was in new waters, there wasn't...there wasn't a lot to keep him from that. He had a method. Everything was going fine and that it wasn't him. And here it feels like he's not, not, not in any kind of a cruel way, but, but as much for himself as for her, he's put his foot down and said, “Enough, we're going to get back to normalcy here for both our sakes.” That's what it feels like.

DOV:

He's been protecting her from, from so many elements from the outside world, from, from people that have, have encroached in their life, and now it feels like perhaps he's protecting her from herself and her own desires.

ORSON:

Yes, but again, we have all of this...we've...he is setting the stage here so that we can better interpret what's to come, and better understand his own interpretation of, of what's to come, which we will get to...we will begin to get to in the next, uh, the next few, um, segments.

DOV:

I feel like if we...I'm getting the blue light, I'll just wrap up this one thought: I feel like if we know anything about Jack, when it comes to ‘Scilla, giving up is probably not in the cards. Let's take a station break, and we will find out more in a moment.

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

END OF EPISODE 3