EPISODE 6

“CONSUMMATION”

DOV:

Greetings, Ameriga. It’s midnight here in the desert, as the witching hour once again begins its slow creep across our nation and our minds. I’m Dov Kandel, and this is Kandel Against the Dark.

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

DOV:

It is a dark and stormy night…

ORSON:

Haha. Indeed. Indeed.

DOV:

Good evening, listeners, and welcome to Kandle Against the Dark. I’m not sure if all of you out there in radio land can hear, but we are experiencing a rather freak weather event. A huge storm system rolled in soon after finishing last night’s broadcast, and it has been stubbornly hanging on ever since. We’ve had some extremely high winds, and the temperature is about 30 degrees below what's normal for this time of year. Very strange.

But nevertheless, we have battened down the hatches, and we plan to carry on. So if you should hear the wind whipping about outside, I do apologize. Hopefully it won’t be too much of an issue.

Okay, so tonight is night two of our conversation with author and investigator Orson Libretti, who has brought a series of tapes that he says are from another universe. And I have to say, his evidence for this claim is very compelling.

Now, we covered a lot of ground last night. And honestly, I, I don’t think there’s really a good way to offer a summary of everything that was revealed in a way that could possibly do the experience any justice. As such, I have decided I’m not even going to try.

Orson tells me that we have a lot more to cover, and we're just going to get to it as quickly as possible. So, for those of you who missed last night's broadcast, I am afraid we're just going to have to leave you behind on this one. But never fear, I promise to make last night and tonight's episode part of our weekend rerun in the ery near future. So for those of you who missed the boat this time around, I am sorry, but you will have a second chance soon enough. Alright, so with that out of the way, let's dive back in. Orson, welcome back yet again.

ORSON:

Thank you, Dov. I'm very honored to be back here for the second night. I'm really looking forward to finishing out this, this exploration of Jack's tale with you and your listeners.

DOV:

And we are certainly honored to have you. This has been an incredible journey so far, and I am devilishly curious to know what happens next. So when we left off at the end of last night’s broadcast, Jack was fleeing Gar’s basement for a second time, having witnessed some previously unknown and absolutely horrifying capabilities of the Mater Node.

These capabilities have come in the form of a, a mass... an uncannily large mass of these strange, glowing, spider-like creatures emerging from the remains of the Node and disappearing into some unseen...well, my understanding was some sort of...infinite space that somehow existed within the confines of the basement walls in that moment.

Very strange and, and shocking stuff. Everything related to these Nodes seems to be a study in the impossible. And as if that weren’t enough, we also heard Jack’s account of what we can assume was more of these glowing bugs fighting to emerge from Gar’s corpse. I, for one, find this intensely unsettling. And as far as I’m concerned, it is 100% understandable that when we last saw Jack, he was running.

ORSON:

Correct. Jack is running. He’s mentioned that something is coming. We don’t quite know what. But, we do know that it’s bad. And, I’d like to kind of set the scene, as Jack describes, this world that he’s seeing with...not only fresh eyes in the sense of, uh, he’s just come out of the basement and back into the world, but also fresh eyes with the revelation that he’s had in that basement regarding the nature of the Mater Node and what it’s doing to the world -- what it’s probably doing to ‘Scilla in some similar form.

DOV:

Yeah.

ORSON:

And it turns out that, that his, his car -- his “automo”, as he calls it... he had left it running when he first entered Gar’s house, and it's now run out of gas only a few blocks away from Gar’s house. So, he basically has about a two hour walk home.

DOV:

Two hours to get to his wife, who he knows is, is being exposed--

ORSON:

He just…He just can't get a break.

DOV:

Right, right.

ORSON:

Yes, absolutely. And, and, uh...th...all the things he must be thinking as he's...as he's on that walk... and he talks about about some of that, you know, he just wants to get there, and he's...he's just cursing himself for his stupidity, perhaps leaving her in the first place. And of course, leaving the car running to run out of gas. You know, this sort of thing. And he's wondering: what's he gonna do when he gets home? He feels that he can't break the Node. One, he... he's not sure what that would do to ‘Scilla.

DOV:

Of course.

ORSON:

Secondly, when he broke it before these things came out of it, and he believes that he's made the situation worse. That seems like, uh, something that, that should be left alone.

DOV:

At this point, there does not seem to be any good option.

ORSON:

Not that he can think of. And not that...not that we can think of.

DOV:

Now, does he know at this point how long Gar was, was sort of attached to the...to the Node? Because perhaps in his mind, on this interminably long two-hour walk, I maybe she...maybe she's...she's new enough to this to this situation that, that she could be rescued.

ORSON:

He does in fact say that he believes that Gar had been there for weeks just by judging on the, you know, the food, the...the lack of food an water...ya know, his, his general look and things like that. But I think at this point Jack isn't sure of anything, really. He realizes that this decline seems to have been accelerated -- and to have greatly accelerated -- just in the time of, uh, the events that happen in the basement.

ORSON:

He had already noticed that there...there were, uh, a lot fewer, you know, automos and people in sight during this time. But now there aren't even the sounds of nature. No, no, uh, crickets, or, uh, birds. No dogs barking. I believe —

DOV:

That must be terrifying.

ORSON:

— he mentions raccoons. Yes, I this this silence.

DOV:

Yeah.

ORSON:

I, I believe he mentions that there's just the the wind and the the rustling of the of the leaves. And the other thing he notices is: in all the homes that he passes, the glow of the Mater Node from within.

DOV:

Wow, yeah.

ORSON:

Yes. Um, and, uh...well, let's, let's pick it up from there and let Jack, um, continue to paint the uh...paint the scene.

DOV:

Alright.

[TAPE CLICK]

JACK:

And, you know, for someone who has spent the majority of his life alone or looking to be left alone at every possible opportunity -- with the exception of ‘Scilla, of course -- I was struck by how abandoned and isolated I felt as I made my way through town. And maybe it's because I was afraid more of the same was awaiting me at home. -- that my little island paradise had already sunk into that same sea of emptiness, and that there was nothing I could do to bring it back, to bring her back. That after everything I'd done to protect ‘Scilla, to keep her happy and safe -- after all I'd done to fend off anything that could possibly come between us -- it all came down to this: abject, irreversible failure.

When I finally did make it home, she was right where I left her, still motionless, her eyes still fixed on the Node. All of the fears I had tried so hard to quash of my walk home had proved justified. The room was so quiet, so empty of presence. And she was already looking gaunt. Lifeless. The blueness of the light was robbing her skin of any of its usual warm tones. And she looked waxy. Like a corpse in a casket. The only thing that let me know that she was even still alive at all were these heartbreaking, shallow breaths -- barely audible. I'd already seen where that leads, and I knew better than to think that there was anything I could do to stop it. I couldn't destroy the Node; I'd learned that lesson. And I knew I couldn't rouse her either. Not without hitting her the way that I had Gar. And I just couldn't bring myself to do that. She just...she looked too frail. I just couldn't. And something told me that it wouldn't have mattered anyway, that what I was so desperate to rescue was already gone. That ‘Scilla was gone.

I didn't know what to do. I was despondent. Broken in ways that I didn't even think were possible.

In the end, I just sat down on the floor across from her, pressed my back against the wall, and cried -- for hours -- until I was exhausted. Listening to her breathing. Awaiting the inevitable. Because that's all there was left to do for her: to just be there until the end. To be with her until those breaths were finally gone.

[TAPE CLICK]

DOV:

Man, that is...that is just so sad. His complete lack of desire through his entire life has finally found purpose, and now it's gone.

ORSON:

Yes. Yes, indeed. We have the answer to your question of, uh...of maybe it would take longer for ‘Scilla. But as he suspected -- and as we perhaps hoped against but, but suspected -- the acceleration was everywhere at once, in all aspects of it. You know, he describes her being waxy and looking like a corpse in a casket. And we think of this, this corpse color that dead people have. The cadaver blue, I believe, as they call it. And you wonder how much of that color in her skin was the light of the Mater Node and how much of it was the result of what was happening to her.

DOV:

Yeah, her state.

ORSON:

Yes. It's a...it's a powerful experience for Jack -- and for us -- to see this woman that he's loved so much in his...and has, uh, built his life around, and she's gone, and yet she's still sitting there. She's still taking these ragged breaths.

DOV:

Right.

ORSON:

Uh, to see that, to see this person that you love, and to know that they're technically still, still living in...in the sense of...of metabolism, you know, of a sort.

DOV:

The heart is beating, the lungs are breathing...

ORSON:

Yes, and yet they're gone.

DOV:

So close but unreachable.

ORSON:

So many -- especially as you get older -- you know, so many of us experience that in certain ways. In...in, uh, hospital rooms, hospices, sometimes in home. And we rarely talk about it, even after the fact, because of how painful it is. And here we have this record of him describing it. And I think we all...anyone that's experienced that knows the feeling of sitting down, pushing your back against the wall and, crying if you...if you can, if you're able. You know, it's...it's the...the final gush of emotions.

DOV:

Hope...hope, we all know, is...is an incredibly powerful thing. But when it's gone, the silence of that void is massive.

ORSON:

Yes, just as...just as ‘Scilla grieved, uh, the loss of...of the possibility of a child, Jack is now grieving not only ’Scilla but the loss of...of that hope and of the possible future. And...and now this...this one thing that he's desired is gone. And here he is, left alone in the...well, not the dark...the dark except for the...the light of this thing that has taken that from him.

DOV:

Right. Where...where possibly could he turn his...if he even has energy left...what can his focus turn to at this point?

ORSON:

Well, you know, he's...he's sitting there, as he says, to...to...to be with her, the...the duty that we...that we must give to our loved ones in their final moments. He's doing that. Um and, he will speak on it. And I suppose now is the time that we should allow him to do so.

DOV:

Alright.

[TAPE CLICK]

JACK:

I don't want to talk about what happened next. I don't know how to talk about what happened next. Because what I thought was ‘Scilla’s end wasn't -- not yet. Like I said, whatever's behind all this -- behind the Mater and it's Nodes, and the end of life as we know it -- whatever that is, it chose us, ‘Scilla and me. We were singled out for something special, something other than the fate of everyone else. And the moment for that “something” -- and all of the horrors it brought with it -- that is what happened next.

I must have fallen asleep. I was sitting vigil, listening to the life slowly escape her lungs. And I could feel my mind pressing against that, pushing away the despair. And like everyone else, I suddenly found myself slipping into my own kind of virtual world -- one fueled by memory. Beautiful memories that had now become bittersweet. You know, simple moments that we shared together. The incredible jolt that surged through my body when she first made eye contact with me. The love drunk smile on her face after her first night together. And the nearly eight years of perfect happiness I felt. A life -- our life -- flashing before my eyes.

And I was ready for it to be done -- for her end to also be mine. But I must have fallen asleep, because suddenly nothing was like it had been. I don't know quite how to explain it exactly, but it was like everything was swirled together somehow. It felt like dreams feel: impressionistic and unfocused. But it also felt perfect. It felt like home. ‘Scilla was on top of me and she was naked, and I was inside of her. And her eyes were closed as she gyrated against me. And as she steadily drew me in and out of her, it was like it had always been for us -- amazing. I felt her familiar warmth, and her softness -- a warmth I had so deeply missed.

And in this reality, it was like none of the pain or anger or heartache existed anymore. There were no Nodes or lies or betrayal. There was just her and me. Her and me and our connection. Just the love and desire that had driven me into her orbit and kept me there for all those years. And I was completely seduced. I wanted to stay in that moment forever.

But then everything changed again. Something was wrong. I couldn't quite make sense of it at first, but I was suddenly filled with this overwhelming sense of dread -- like I'd just been pushed off a cliff. You know, my stomach dropped out of me, and my head started to spin. And that's when I saw the glow, the pale blue glow of the Mater Node. But it wasn't coming from somewhere in the room; it was coming from inside her, shining through her abdomen, pushing against the back side of her flesh and descending it outward like it had implanted itself inside of her somehow. And then the thrusting got more forceful. It had become violent and painful. I screamed for her to stop, but she didn't. She just kept slamming herself against me. And then her mouth fell open and let out this horrible moan -- a moan filled with what seemed like a million sounds all jumbled together into one dissonant drone. And it wouldn't stop. It just flowed out of her and filled the air until it was all I could hear.

I struggled to free myself, but I couldn't. I couldn't budge from under her. It was like she suddenly weighed as much as a planet. And she just kept pounding, just rabidly slamming her body down on me like she was in a frenzy. I was terrified. I was in pain. But still, I could feel myself edging closer to climax anyway. Like I didn't even have a choice in the matter. I could just feel my body preparing for that release.

It seemed to happen for us both at the same time. But when it came for her, her nails clutched my shoulders and buried themselves in my skin. And that awful sound, that dissonant drone that had been spewing from her mouth, became more of a shriek. And her eyes shot open. They were filled with light, horrible blue light that spilled out of her face and blinded me. I could feel everything flowing out of me, out of me and into her. But it wasn't like an orgasm. It was...it was like I could feel my soul draining out of me. Like every possible version of me, all of my futures and potentials, like they were being ripped out of me and implanted whole cloth into the womb of whatever was now wearing my wife's skin.

And then I jolted awake. I was so disoriented, so shaken and disturbed, that it took me a minute to realize where I was. And it took me a second longer to realize that the room was now in darkness, that there was no light from the Mater Node anywhere. Because it was gone. It had disappeared. And ‘Scilla wasn't where I'd left her either.

I immediately panicked. I rushed to get to my feet, but that is when I realized that my pants were around my ankles and I felt a stinging sensation on my shoulders. It wasn't a dream. Any of it. It had all happened. Every terrible moment of it was real. I didn't know how to wrap my head around that, and I think I just defaulted to my usual instinct, which was to protect my wife.

I pushed everything else away, and all that mattered to me was finding her. I started frantically searching rooms, shouting for her, but there was no answer. And then I heard her breathing. I found her in the corner of the laundry room. I couldn't see her at first. She was hidden behind the side of the dryer. I could just hear her breathing. These short, rapid huffs like what you'd expect from a galloping horse. The sounds of an animal. I called out to her, but she didn't answer. It was just more of that awful breathing. I had been so desperate to find her, and now all I could feel was this profound sense of apprehension about what I was going to find as I made my way further into that room.

She was on all fours. Her head was raised, pointed directly at me as I came around the side of the dryer. But she didn't see me. Because she couldn't see me. Because her eyes were gone. There were just these two empty black voids where they used to be. And her stomach...her stomach was hanging down. It was distended to at least twice its normal size -- and it was writhing.

There was blood and fluid on the floor, and that's when I realized what I was seeing. She was pregnant with something. Something that had just stated impossibly fast. And whatever it was, it was coming. The screaming came next. These long, guttural screams of pain. And her body began to jerk and vibrate. More fluid and blood gushed out onto the floor, and then it happened: a long, spindly, glowing...thing emerged from inside of her, like it was growing out of her. But its glow was different than anything I had seen from the Nodes. Instead of that pale blue I'd become so familiar with, this was something else. It had a kind of yellow hue, an amber color. And I had no idea why or what it meant -- and I still don't -- but at the time I didn't care. All that mattered to me in that moment was that I was witnessing this...glowing shaft, this...thing rising up higher and higher behind my wife's broken body. And then it split. It branched out into a series of smaller limbs. They were legs. It was a cluster of legs, all of them moving independently but together as the end searched for and eventually found the floor. And then they began to push, using their leverage to further extract whatever nightmare they were attached to from my wife's womb.

And that's all I remember. My mind must've broken in that moment. Something shut down because the next thing I do remember is being in an automobile. It was like someone had just cut out all of the intervening moments and suddenly I was behind the wheel, speeding down a residential street. And every part of me was screaming, “Don't stop!” And I didn't question it. I just reacted. I put my foot down on the accelerator and I drove.

I watched my whole world, my entire life, disappear in the rearview mirror. And all I could see was the blue light in my neighbors windows blinking out in my wake, one after another. And I had no idea what was chasing me. But I knew that whatever darkness was swallowing up the light of those Nodes was part of it. And whatever it was, I couldn't let it catch me. So I drove. I drove until there was nothing left around me. Nothing but fog and darkness.

[TAPE CLICK]

DOV:

Wow. It uh...that seems to have been quite possibly Jack's darkest moment so far.

ORSON:

Oh, I would definitely say so. I mean, I think something that this recounting by Jack, uh, highlights is the fact that the Mater Node, uh, has uh, co-opted...I believe Jack used this, uh, term at a at some point. I think it would apply here...has co-opted the biological apparatus of Priscilla. To its own ends. What those ends are, we don't know. But there, there...some sort of spider-thing has been born from her.

DOV:

Jack's description of Silva's final moments, of his final moments with her, the just the violence of it...the brutality that the Mater System inflicted on ‘Scilla is --

ORSON:

It's tragic.

DOV:

Profoundly so. I...I'm not quite sure that word even really communicates it thoroughly, but it's just the only word that comes to mind. And then when I turn my mind back to Jack...

ORSON:

Yes.

DOV:

I just...I...I can't imagine, uh, his level of suffering. Again to have spent so long just purely devoted to...to this woman's happiness, you know, to her safety, to...to her life, and for him to have taken the extreme measures he did with Gar...for that to all come down to this...I just, I can't imagine, I mean, you know, as he said, it was so overwhelming he blacked out.

ORSON:

Yes, but,but not like before. He doesn't appear to have fainted here. It's more that his body was, uh, sort of on autopilot.

DOV:

Right. Right. I think he said it was like someone had just edited it out whatever, uh, happened between what he described to us and then him behind the wheel of the car, speeding away from...you know, the everything he's always known.

ORSON:

That's exactly right. And this phenomenon isn't really all that uncommon, uh, in moments of extreme stress and trauma. It's an example of what the psychologists on the team identified as a...as a clear dissociative episode. Jack was actually quite right when he said that his, uh, his brain must have broken in that moment. What he experienced was...it was simply too much to process. And...and so his brain shut down in a way.

DOV:

And then, ya know, his body just...continued on, uh, in the absence of any sort of conscious volition.

ORSON:

Exactly.

DOV:

You know, and something else that, that, that stood out to me was, uh, that he said the nature of the glow was different. That it was like more amber in color. Um, and I'm not sure that there's any way to know this for certain, but it seems like that must have been a result of, of the, uh, well...I'll just...I'll call it “the event”, uh, that happened in the family room. This seems to suggest that everything that was drawn out of him, um, was...was added to the equation that led to this...creature that, uh, emerged from ‘Scilla's womb.

ORSON:

Exactly, exactly.

DOV:

Uh, we...we referred earlier to, to the, the loss of hope and how desperate that lack can be, and...and it seems that hope has shrunk finally to, to nothing. Like it..It's...it's desiccated. Like the victims of the Node.

ORSON:

Yes, asolutely. Uh, Jack's one desire in life has gone.

DOV:

Right.

ORSON:

Um...and so, he's lost his, uh, his illusions. His...his...his sense of the world has changed. There's...there's no more lying to himself about what may happen. There's just the road ahead and the mystery of what all this means and what part, if any he has left to play...uh...in it as, as the world he's known -- as the world everybody has known, um -- “ends” as...as he says.

DOV:

Right.

Maggie is shining the light, and, uh, I...we...we, I think, all could use a break now. And really, no more need be set on this, I think. Let's, uh, let's take a break and we'll be back in a moment.

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

END OF EPISODE 6